living without you
by x10sb03
Summary: Dean and Sam had been together for six months until Sam died during a hunt with Castiel and Dean, Dean now has to live his life without him. includes WINCEST.
1. Chapter 1

A life with and without you.

Summary: Dean and Sam had been together for six months until Sam died during a hunt with Castiel and Dean, Dean now has to live his life without him.

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural wish I owned it. Oh, the things I would do! A girl can dream, Sadly, I don't own it.

Chapter one.

As i see you waiting for me across the sunset crying with your arms opened for me i run into your arms. You sweep me of my feet as we kiss passionately into the night and tell each other how much we love each other. Then i see you fading, fading away from me until i can't see you no longer.

I woke up feeling lost and confused i hadn't dreamt off him since his funeral two weeks ago, where i lost him in a hunt, i tried everything to bring him back made deals with the demons but they wouldn't accept, how i wish i could be with you for one more day and tell you how much i love you and how my life is nothing without you.

I got out of bed wiping the tears from my eyes away, it still hurts knowing that i will never see him again to feel his warmth and his soft lips. I walked slowly into the bathroom to splash my face with cold water, it had been a month since he was taken away from me. After splashing my face with cold water, i walked to his suitcase and changed into his shirt and jeans. I sat down on the motels bed and took out the picture of me and him together of our first vacation.

Flashback...

Sam and Dean had been on holiday for three days they decided to take a break of hunting for a couple of days to spend time together without the worry of a hunt. They decided to go to Rhode Island to spend quality time together.

Sam was spread out on the hotel bed smiling down at Dean whilst he played with his hair they had decided to stay in bed that morning.

"i love you Sammy" Dean looked up to Sam and started to kiss his neck.

Sam laughed, "I love you too Dean what's all this about."

"Nothing i just can't stand the thought of losing you Sammy" Sam kissed his head

"i will never leave you Dean i love you too much to go anywhere, why would you think like that Dean?"

Dean got up off Sam so he was sitting at the edge of the bed.

"Dean what's wrong?"

Dean looked towards the floor.

"Dean, come on please your starting to scare me."

Dean hated scaring Sam. he looked at Sam seeing the concern in his face "nothing it's silly"

Sam reached over to Dean and grabbed his hand for comfort. "Dean please what's wrong"

Dean voice sounded pained when he replied. "...I just had a Dream last night" Dean looked towards the floor, "about you Sammy... i dreamt of you."

"What's wrong with Dreaming off me Dea, I dream about you all the time."

"Nothing, its just in these dream you always end up leaving like i was nothing..."

Dean was about to get up when Sam grabbed his wrist. Sam looked hurt and looked at Dean with his puppy dog faced, "Dean i would never leave you, dont you realise how much i love you."

"Yes i know you love me"

"So stop worrying i will never leave you, i promise pinkie swear" he held up his little finger.

Dean climbed onto Sam's lap, and pressed his face to his hair. "you promise" "Yes Dean" Dean had tears falling from his face. Sam decided he was going to show Dean how much he loved him he grabbed Deans waist and pushed him so he was lying on top of Dean. He kissed his tears that fell from his eyes. "i love you Dean." And kissed him passionately.

Present...

He looked to the picture crying, "you promised you would never leave me, you promised."

Dean put the picture back in the suitcase "i love you Sam" he kissed the picture and shut the lid to the suitcase, he laded back down into bed hugging himself tightly.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

Dean had been laying in the bed all day curled up crying, it still hurt him knowing that Sam was gone, having no one beside him when he woke up and not being able to see him, if only he had made Sam stay at the motel the day he died Sam and Dean would be together now. He kept thinking.

Dean turned around in the bed and saw that Castiel was at the corner of the room.

"Get out Cas"

"Dean please let me explain?"

"Explain what, how Sam was with you when he died, how you where supposed to be looking out for him or that you haven't visited once since Sam died." Dean shouted he got up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom with Castiel following him closely behind.

"Cas stop just go."

"Dean!"

"Go"

"Please just let me explain, Dean." Castiel grabbed Dean's wrist "please"

"What, Cas? What is there to explain? If you had been looking out for him he would be here now none of this would off happened."

"Dean please let me explain what happened that night. i did not know that any of this would happen. Please just let me explain." Dean walked to the bed and hugged the pillow. Encouraged Castiel followed and stood directly in front of Dean and explained what happened.

Flashback...

"Cas, stay with Sam, im going to go and look around" Dean walked to Sam and gave him a quick kiss. "love you" and ran off "Love you too" he shouted after him.

Castiel laughed. "what you laughing at Cas?"

"Ive never seen the pair of you so happy before Its sweet." Sam smiled. "Where are we going to set up the devil trap?"

"Will Set up the devil trap up here." They began to create the devil trap when they heard a noise in the next room. "Stay here Cas and finish the devil trap I'm just going to check what the hell that noise was." Sam ran out grabbing the gun from the floor.

...

Castiel looked at the floor and admired his work, he looked around expecting to see Sam. "Sam?" Castiel ran out of the room into the next.

Sam was held against the wall by the demon. "Please. I'll do anything you want please don't kill him please just stop, kill me torture me but please don't kill Dean." Sam begged. Sam saw that Castiel was running to the demon.

"Cas" Sam shouted the demon looked at Castiel and smiled she raised one hand "tell Dean I" and with a click she snapped Sam's neck.

...

Present

"And that's when you came into the room and killed her. I'm sorry Dean but I tried to save Sam but I was too late."

Dean just looked at him a single tear falling from his cheek, Dean didn't realise how fast love could leave and how precious it is when it is found. "Cas!" Castiel looked at Dean and saw how upset he was. Castiel walked to the side of the bed to sit down he pulled Dean down towards him for a hug, he had never done this before but had seen that this is what humans do this when they're upset. "Sshh! Dean I'm sorry I haven't been here for you."

"Cas, I just want him back please." He held onto Castiel's jacket "Please"

"Dean I'm sorry but I cannot do that"

Dean let go off Castiel's jacket "why did they take Sam." "it should've off been me" he muttered

"DEAN! Don't."

"What Cas, why was it him I was the one chasing the bloody thing."

"I don't know I wish i knew the answers."

Dean hugged his legs "so do I Cas." Castiel got up of the bed and walked away.

"Cas! Please don't go."

Castiel turned and looked at him and smiled "im not going any were"Castiel moved to the bed and pulled Dean towards him so they where hugging.

"Im not going anywhere."

"thank you Cas." Dean had not felt so warm since Sam died he hugged Castiel "goodnight Cas, goodnight Sam." and fell to sleep. Castiel looked at Dean and smiled. "I will never leave you I will always be here I promise Dean."


End file.
